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Translation

Boofy the Vampire Slayer


One of the things I sacrificed while packing was my shampoo and conditioner, partly to keep down the weight and also because airlines are inclined to make you throw away liquids in excess of 100 mls. No problem, I thought. At worst, I could buy some when I got there.
As it turned out, that wasn't necessary. What with seven adults in the house, there were enough beauty products cluttering the bathroom to do the cosmetic industry proud and they nearly all professed to be cruelty free, organic etc. etc. (I would like to dispute the first!).

The trouble was, that by the time I managed to seize my moment in the bathroom, I didn't have my glasses with me and with someone's else's clothes already lined up at the door, I wasn't about to go back and get them. Blindly, I groped for the nearest container. I have no idea what it was. It could have been hand lotion, moisturiser, bathroom cleanser or any of a number of other possibilities. All I can tell you is that (a) It didn't froth much and (b) It was an excellent volumiser, for those of you who may need that kind of thing. Trust me, I don't. I now look  (even more) like Phyllis Diller in a bad hair decade.

Of course there are other divergences from expectations at Christmas. The presents (since I had already told everyone they weren't getting any), all those received exceeded expectations. Of course you have to be careful you don't gush too much or you could be stuck with the same for the rest of your natural life. This happened to a lady who once expressed her delight at receiving a present of a frog. Thereafter she received frog -related merchandise ranging from potmitts to figurines and pictures for decades, without once mentioning that she didn't actually like them. Then there's the joy of being with family and friends.  For months I fantasize about that Brigadoon moment, when all my chickens are under one roof again, even if just for a few days, but it doesn't take very long to appreciate how wonderful it is that they all have independent lives and that perhaps I should soon get one of my own. I also sympathise with the friend who wrote about catering to the wider family at Christmas, only to find that they were all several hours late. By the time they all sat down to dinner, she was feeling somewhat sulky and all she wanted was a stiff drink. Onya, Ros! Have one for me while you are at it. I could go on, but that's not what it's about.It is lovely to see everyone again.

A big thank you my children for putting on a wonderful feast and lots of entertainment and especially to T. for putting  up with all of us. It's bad enough having to put up with your own relatives, let alone someone else's!





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