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Translation

Priority Customer

It’s 5.30 a.m. Ever since I gave the garbage men those shortbreads at Christmas I am their Number One customer and they always start their round here on Wednesday mornings. This is not necessarily a good thing as they bang and bump and grind their way to my door in the wee hours of the morning, but at least I get my bin emptied, which didn't happen when I first got home and I am glad that I am a high priority for someone as the Age of Invisibility dawns for me.

This was certainly not the case when I went to look at televisions this week. The little old one I borrowed from my son, quite literally went up in smoke while I was watching a murder mystery on Friday night. The smell was terrible and I was a bit afraid that it might explode so I carefully took it outside and in the morning I had to go and ask the neighbours Who Dunnit. If I had known they were watching the same program I suppose I could have sat on my balcony with binoculars and watched the rest from there. Then again, it loses something if you don’t lip -read well [people used to do that you know when television first came in and the Olympics were on – sit outside electrical shops on stepladders] and it wasn’t a great night to be sitting outside.

Anyway, since then I have been exploring the brave new world of television. Things have changed a bit since we got the last one about 25 years ago. There’s LED, LCD, High Definition, Ultra high definition, 50Hz or 100 Hz, Plasma, Blue Ray and a choice of screens the size of houses. I practically had to twist someone’s arm to come and talk to me and I am still not much the wiser. I did work out that I couldn't afford one and the easy terms over 48 months make it cost about three times as much, so it may have to wait a while. 

In the meantime, I expect I will have to call my son on Friday nights and we can all sit around his fourth generation iphone. I have already been treated to a couple of episodes of “Futurama” on it. While it certainly has an excellent picture, much better than the old TV and does ensure a little family togetherness, it isn’t quite the same and I do rather miss the evening news.

I am not sure what I have done to offend the Electricity Gods. Since I have been home, the computer  has died, the dishwasher demised in the middle of Christmas Dinner (not yet replaced - can wait till next Christmas!) and now the TV that has survived all manner of trepidations until this minute. Please tell me what I am doing wrong here.

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